Kurai Extravaganza

'Wirklichfrei macht wahrscheinlich nur der Wahnsinn.

 Doch zum Wahnsinn fehlt mir der Mut.

 So spiel ich die Starke und tu was ich tu,

 als wär dieses Leben mehr als Täuschung, Irrtum, Betrug.

 Als wär nichts, nichts, gar nichts genug.'

I'm gonna shed me some skin,

Get me real real slim,

I want to feels my bones on your bones,

Scared of the scale, we are stuck in a scarytale. We haven't a desire to get out. Isn't that funny? It's more scary to get out, once the thoughts creep back in. You only have to stand upon the scale to fall back again.s of g

And we thought we weren't in deep... Thoughts of getting out easily are false. It is fake to believe you ...

Back and forth; arogant anddemure.

Big yellowbird inside a cage, can you imagine escaping. Locking up myself again. With clipped wings, no bird can fly away. Darkness always sets in early when we head towards the winter.

Still striving for perfection.

It is easier to find, when your world is small. It is easier to find inside the cage.  

And I will act as a child, zip my mouth, eat the key.

I wo...

You can't stand me,clearly. And I'm quite sure I can't stand you, either.

Have you any clue how much I would love to be not you?

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.

That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.

All the little pieces falling, shatter.

Shards of me,

Too sharp to put back together.

Too small to matter,

But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.

Having a winter's depression in the midst of summer, making small cuts with everything I can find, destroying the thin polish of happiness.

Uncovering the beauty of the destroyed which lies underneath.

Everything is so beautifully broken. Have you ever seen me...

... without bursts?

You thought this torment was romanti...

Is it strange to take a liking in persons, whose weirder traits you seem to incorporate later in life? Would it be possible that one knows already as a child what lingers in deep grounds inside you, and will come out in later years?

Possibly, one could as well say that we model ourselfs after the persons whom we find ourselves take an interest in. But whom would live the life o...

Promise me no promises

I think that's quite suitable at the moment. For I can't promise to do anything strange. An urge acts up, the urge to do something which you will not approve of.

So far for a healthy fascination.

I am not the only one though.

Diana looks so sad, a perfect ressemblance of how I feel. Thoug...

Distance leads enchantment, true enough. People like me better when they know nothing about me. However, that is not the reason that Christanity's Holy Virgin is so admired. She brings softness, feminity, and a human touch to the faith. All what she symbolizes, stands opposed to the God, full of vengeance and wrath, in whose name millions died, and her son, whom - according to the church - demands endless sacrifices from all, for whom thousands of ...

Deal with the demons in my head? Good god, as if that is nothing! There are more demons in my head which you do not know anything about, than that soul crossed the river Styx.

An exaggeration, of course, but still, that is not so easy. Because those demons kind of make me me. Without the things I feared, or the things which occupy my mind, and which are classified as 'strange' in the most positive expression, I wouldn't ...